Most Prepared
Secrets given
Understanding perceived
Comprehension there
But little is believed.
Reasoning there
And ideals become prevalent
While sanity bails
And illusion runs rampant.
The vision ahead
Is a sight most prepared
But reality is
A nightmare never spared.

???
Compassion so sublime
Malevolence so subtle
What is obvious
And what is evil?
Traces left behind
And impressions lingering
Shape the mind
And it’s visioning.
Can thoughts so distorted
And ideals so convoluted
Raise a response
Properly disputed?
Impressions can only build
A dynamic wholly unique
But are answers
What we truly seek?

Mind’s Mobility
As my eyes start to flutter
And I drift closer to sleep
I pray to the hearing god
My rationality let me keep.
For a trek into that coma
May drain me of my ability
To discern for delusion
And what is my cold reality.
I ask not for redemption
But for my mind’s mobility
To dodge these obstacles
Of impending insanity.

Midget
The ambiance so surreal
The image so tormenting
The precept unforgiving
For passion unrelenting.
Should a vision become
More than actual truth
And test the boundaries of
A man’s abstinence of youth.
Dilemmas put aside
And realities solemnly faced
Create a new definition
Of words wrongly placed.
But morals rein supreme
And ideals stand fast
Against that vision of joy
And it’s temptations so vast.

Tapestry
The image unfolds, woven gently
Depicting happiness and travesty,
It is a portrait of life
It is my personal tapestry.
Each point in life, shown clearly
Every up and down displayed
With exquisite care and detail
Though the edges become frayed.
I can look upon it and see
All that I have been
The many games I have lost
And the victories I managed to win.
But as I gaze at my past
And study my ornate tapestry
The joy seems so little
Compared to the greater travesty.
My brow furrows as I stare
Is this my life before me?
Has the sadness dominated so
Is this really the truth that I see?
I fall back blindly into a chair
I am numb, inside and out,
My mind races back through time
And in the end there is no doubt.
Pain has outweighed happiness
For the whole of my existence,
It has reigned supreme
Despite my best resistance.
My head falls into my hands
My shoulders shake as I weep
The suffering chills my bones
As into my soul it slowly seeps.
I raise my blood shot eyes
And stare at my baleful tapestry
As reality strikes its blow
I will forever be a travesty.

???
I have searched for reality
But I am unable to find it.
I have envisioned the light
And by it I have been blinded.
Truth is all I ask for
Honesty a simple fact
But little is seen from
Those with morals lacked.
I wish for many things
I pray for absolutely nothing
But I hope for an opportunity
That my life will mean something.
That’s it, that’s my dream
If only I can be remembered
For anything that I have
Possibly poetically rendered.
But fear of doom is ultimate
And knowledge of loss is blame
Because all of it points to me
And this ineptness is my shame.

Priorities
The shattered pen dripping dry
The shattered mind disoriented
The broken will fully succumbed
To the sub-conscience demented.
Indecision has reigned supreme
While priorities remain unknown
And confusion becomes commonplace
As I huddle shuddering, cold and alone.
Still no way has appeared to me
And no guiding light has reached my eyes
So that I may find the path of freedom
My true reason, hope, identity, I can finalize.
Can life be this unforgiving
That no proper priorities can be found
So that sanity could discover purpose
And blissful lucidity eventually abound?
Must these decisions and conceptions
Forever quell my possible thought
Or will I always be ruled by
Priorities inevitably wrongly sought.

This Little Light
The light has finally been shown
That will brighten my black soul.
With radiance to outshine the stars
And ability to dry the worst of tears.
It can provide warmth is the deepest of cold
And free the darkness of its ethereal bonds.
The light has been discovered
That can spread bliss with the smallest ray
The light has finally appeared
That can purge the most pitch of hate
That can dispel the bleakness of despair
That can exorcise the evilest of demons.
The light I have dreamed of has come
But this little light is not mine
And I will only be graced by it temporarily
Then it will shine for others more worthy
And I will be left to dwell in the darkness
That is forever destined to be my domain.

Last Hope
A final retribution
A thought at redemption
One last hope destroyed
Thus begins Armageddon.
What was once recently possible
Is now nothing but embers
Of a fire sadly quenched.
One final attempt
To reach sanctity,
Sanity,
Has died along with me.
All that might have been
All that the future held
Is stilled with in moments.
The fire had burned again
Brighter than ever before
But the flames flickered
And ceased
With one brief but swift gust.
The calm
The understanding
This life, just once
Was making sense.
Now all knowledge
All beliefs
Are thrown back
To the dark times.
I managed to survive once
With a beacon dim at best
But having seen the fire so bright
And then watch it doused
So quickly
I’m not sure I can survive
That large of a swing.
Persevere?
I might
Function still?
I would think yes.
Live?
Never again
For my one bastion of strength
My one chance for validation,
My last hope
Has been lost.
The light has expired
And in the end
That was all I ever had.

© 2009 Ravenai